How to Travel With a Salmon & Other Essays

How To Travel With A Salmon Is A Highly Engaging Collection Of What Umberto Eco Calls His Diario Minimo - Minimal Diaries - After The Magazine Column In Which He Began Pursuing The Pathways Of Parody. These Essays, Written In The Late Eighties And Early Nineties, Are His Playful But Unfailingly Accurate Takes On Militarism, Computer Jargon, Westerns, Art Criticism, Librarians, Bureaucrats, Meals On Airplanes, Amtrak Trains, Bad Coffee, Maniacal Taxi Drivers, Express Mail, 33-function Watches, Fax Machines And Cellular Phones, Pornography, Soccer Fans, Academia, And - Last But Definitely Not Least - The Author's Own Self. How To Travel With A Salmon Gives Us Umberto Eco's Acute Vision Of The Absurdities Of Modern Life. How To Travel With A Salmon -- How To Replace A Driver's License -- How To Eat In Flight -- How To Go Through Customs -- How To Travel On American Trains -- How To Take Intelligent Vacations -- How To Use The Taxi Driver -- How Not To Talk About Soccer -- How To Use The Coffeepot From Hell -- How To React To Familiar Faces -- How To Be A Tv Host -- How Not To Know The Time -- Stars And Stripes -- Conversation In Babylon -- On The Impossibility Of Drawing A Map Of The Empire On A Scale Of 1 To 1 -- How To Eat Ice Cream -- How It Begins, And How It Ends -- How To Justify A Private Library -- How To Compile An Inventory -- How To Spend Time -- How To Buy Gadgets -- How To Follow Instructions -- How To Become A Knight Of Malta -- How To Deal With Telegrams -- How Not To Use The Fax Machine -- How Not To Use The Cellular Phone -- Three Owls On A Chest Of Drawers -- Editorial Revision -- Sequels -- How To Use Suspension Points -- How To Write An Introduction -- How To Write An Introduction In An Art Catalogue -- How To Set The Record Straight -- How To Watch Out For Widows -- How To Organize A Public Library -- How To Speak Of Animals -- How To Play Indians -- How To Recognize A Porn Movie -- How To Avoid Contagious Diseases -- How To Choose A Remunerative Profession -- The Miracle Of San Baudolino. Umberto Eco ; Translated From The Italian By William Weaver. A Helen And Kurt Wolff Book. Translation Of: Il Secondo Diario Minimo. Includes Bibliographical References.